Today I cried for the first time...

I knew it would happen eventually. I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier. I was literally holding back tears the entire day. And when I finally got home I let it out. It was short and afterwards felt so unnecessary. But it felt good.

I'm not actually sad about anything in particular I think I was just overwhelmed.
I had just got back from shopping in Germany and I literally came back with nothing that I needed.
I've been here for exactly a week and I have been trying to find the same 3 items every single day and epically fail. Its overwhelming, exhausting, and frustrating.

I honestly felt like just falling on the ground and throwing a temper tantrum. I completely understand and have so much more empathy for anyone who is away from home. Being in a different country is ridiculously hard. Not only are you alone but everything is new. Everything you felt so comfortable and confident about has been ripped from you and replaced with utter confusion. How is it that its day 7 and I still haven't been able to find Probiotics? Why.

This is obviously such a minuscule issue but I think it brought forth a lot of emotions I was keeping inside while trying to appear strong.

This is hard. I don't know how else to put it. I am so lucky that I atleast can understand the language and some of the culture. Imagine if I was somewhere else? This would be even harder and I couldn't even imagine anything harder than this.

Everything is just new and different. And I don't have anyone to walk through this with. Everyday there is something different I have to decipher and something new I've never experienced before. Its sad, it's lonely, but I know this will only make me grow as a person.

Every day is something new to learn. I just have to remind myself it's only been a little bit over a week! Everything will slowly come together. I am starting my life over. It needs time.

*deep breathe*

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 17, 2017 at 1:30 AM

    Crying doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. As you noted, it could just be a release from pent-up feelings of disoriention. You don't have your comforts yet! They're coming. Citizenship and being able to hear the language are two humungous pluses to help with that. So fabulous.

    So when need be, let out those tears in your cute apartment. Then turn on the music and have a dance party solo, no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 18, 2017 at 9:35 AM

      Awww thank you! this made me feel better <3

      Delete
    2. AnonymousOctober 28, 2017 at 4:23 PM

      probiotics: https://www.englishforum.ch/food-drink/47296-probiotics.html
      and ask in Migros or Coop for lined Paperblock, you may not find it in letterformat, but they have it in A4 Format. Just watching your youtube

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Culture...Shock

Image
Wow. So last night I felt extremely uncomfortable. Literally like a black sheep. So the advantage that I have with this move is that my parents are Swiss. My entire family is Swiss. My parents very much so raised us in a "Swiss" way. We celebrated Swiss holidays growing up and celebrated Christmas a bit differently. My parents talked to us about Switzerland almost on the daily. To the point where Switzerland always somehow felt like home to me. It felt more comfortable. This definitely helped with my move. It wasn't as scary because I was already prepared for some of the Swiss customs. Swiss are big on recycling and don't liter. Got it. My mom always made this big deal about recycling and we were raised never to liter. The Swiss always take their shoes off and have separate house slippers. Got it. We weren't allowed to wear our shoes in the house. The food. Got it, mom mainly cooked Swiss food and often had relative send up Swiss goodies year round. Swiss club
Read more

Why I moved to Switzerland...The truth...

Image
This question has come up so many times recently. From co-workers, to friends, to random people I meet on the street. Yet everytime I give them the same generic answer. Almost like an automated response because the real answer is way too long to continuously repeat. A big part of why I gave these automated responses is because I simply didn't know at the time. Switzerland came to me almost overnight. From one day to the next I made the decision to make this drastic move and there was nothing that could happen to change my mind. Everything happened so fast that I never really had the time to think. Well now I've had it. Switzerland=lots of walking which provides ample amount of alone time to think. So why? I mean.... why not? I've been unhappy for awhile now. My adult life has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs through bad relationships, family issues, and toxic friendships. But there has always been one common denominator. I have always settled. I have always acce
Read more