Are American's A**holes?
I know the title is a little blunt. But this is exactly what I'm writing about.
So this past month that I have been in Switzerland I've said some things, I've acted a certain way in situation that people have looked at me like I'm a complete b***. I mean maybe not to that extent but I know my behavior has been shocking at times.
I find myself having to correct myself and to find different ways to say things. Something that I have never even thought about doing in my life. Is it the American in me? or is it ME?
Being in a completely different culture and around people who grew up differently makes your own flaws stick out like a pigeon in a room of parrots. Seriously. It's eye opening.
Being outspoken, blunt, and opinionated is such a norm in America. I mean of course not everyone is like that. But the vast majority is. It's definitely part of our culture I believe. All the protest, the riots, the movements. Typical America lifestyle right? We pretty much do what we want, when we want. We also don't really care what other people think about us? Its the whole freedom thing maybe? We do feel extremely free in the US. Something that isn't completely apparent here in Switzerland.
Someone bumps in to me I immediately say something. While everyone around me is looking at me like I shot someone. Yup. That's me. Standing up for myself.
Standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Something the Swiss just love to do. It's like their favorite hobby. While everyone else is sneaking past them. Basically turning their bodies into a thin paper to go around them I'm like. "MOVE". Okay thanks. I mean maybe I'm rude but I don't think the sidewalk belongs to you. Sorry. But no seriously. It's common courtesy to notice that you aren't the only person in the world. And I remind them of this and I get looked at like I am insane. But I'm American. I can't help it.
At work.
The Swiss are very soft with their children. That's all I can really say. No other words necessary.
And then here comes the American. I literally cannot be any less blunt than I am. I'm straight forward.
Hey Jimmy's mom,
How are you?
Yeah Jimmy was a complete a** today.
Yup.
Lol okay I'm not that blunt. That's just a joke. But I am really honest and straight forward with the parents. The first time I told a parent that their child wasn't doing that great that day they looked like they saw a ghost. They were so used to being told their child was perfect and everything was great.
I just can't. I don't know any other way to be. But It's beginning to be a struggle. People are telling me I'm not nice. What? I'm so nice. I'm just honest? Why isn't this valued here? Why isn't standing up for yourself valued here? Everyone literally pretends everything is okay, never complains, turns their head. And i'm over here literally READY to start a revolution. I'm like "Lets do this! We need to go talk to management about this!" and they are like, "Nothing will change. Just leave it".
But yes. I'm just rambling now. I'm just struggling with being myself here. I feel like I have to tone myself down. Like town the American in me down. But maybe some of our American traits aren't as great as we think they are?
Food for thought. What do you think?
So this past month that I have been in Switzerland I've said some things, I've acted a certain way in situation that people have looked at me like I'm a complete b***. I mean maybe not to that extent but I know my behavior has been shocking at times.
I find myself having to correct myself and to find different ways to say things. Something that I have never even thought about doing in my life. Is it the American in me? or is it ME?
Being in a completely different culture and around people who grew up differently makes your own flaws stick out like a pigeon in a room of parrots. Seriously. It's eye opening.
Being outspoken, blunt, and opinionated is such a norm in America. I mean of course not everyone is like that. But the vast majority is. It's definitely part of our culture I believe. All the protest, the riots, the movements. Typical America lifestyle right? We pretty much do what we want, when we want. We also don't really care what other people think about us? Its the whole freedom thing maybe? We do feel extremely free in the US. Something that isn't completely apparent here in Switzerland.
Someone bumps in to me I immediately say something. While everyone around me is looking at me like I shot someone. Yup. That's me. Standing up for myself.
Standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Something the Swiss just love to do. It's like their favorite hobby. While everyone else is sneaking past them. Basically turning their bodies into a thin paper to go around them I'm like. "MOVE". Okay thanks. I mean maybe I'm rude but I don't think the sidewalk belongs to you. Sorry. But no seriously. It's common courtesy to notice that you aren't the only person in the world. And I remind them of this and I get looked at like I am insane. But I'm American. I can't help it.
At work.
The Swiss are very soft with their children. That's all I can really say. No other words necessary.
And then here comes the American. I literally cannot be any less blunt than I am. I'm straight forward.
Hey Jimmy's mom,
How are you?
Yeah Jimmy was a complete a** today.
Yup.
Lol okay I'm not that blunt. That's just a joke. But I am really honest and straight forward with the parents. The first time I told a parent that their child wasn't doing that great that day they looked like they saw a ghost. They were so used to being told their child was perfect and everything was great.
I just can't. I don't know any other way to be. But It's beginning to be a struggle. People are telling me I'm not nice. What? I'm so nice. I'm just honest? Why isn't this valued here? Why isn't standing up for yourself valued here? Everyone literally pretends everything is okay, never complains, turns their head. And i'm over here literally READY to start a revolution. I'm like "Lets do this! We need to go talk to management about this!" and they are like, "Nothing will change. Just leave it".
But yes. I'm just rambling now. I'm just struggling with being myself here. I feel like I have to tone myself down. Like town the American in me down. But maybe some of our American traits aren't as great as we think they are?
Food for thought. What do you think?
Well Swiss people are definitely less direct like Americans are. That's also why you get these looks you described. If a Swiss person doesn't like something they usually are trying to give you hints without directly talking about the issue.
ReplyDeleteSo if you tell a parent that their kid was a complete ass today that comes across to them like the child would require immediate medical or psychological attention. Just saying. If you wanna say he was an ass then you are probably better off telling the parents that he was a bit "difficult" to deal with today. That's the Swiss way.
And yes, I also hate when people block the sidewalk. Sometimes I "accidentally" bump into them to show them that they are fucken blocking everything. Same goes on escalators when they stand next to each other instead both standing behind each other so people can pass them. :)
I have found that the Swiss are more blunt and outspoken. Of course I grew up with southern values. You never told someone to move you just went around them, but no one would really block the sidewalk either. You always used Ma'm or Sir even if the person you were talking to was 2 years old. The only place I was a jerk in the US was at my job lifeguarding. I worked in Downtown Nashville TN and which is the state capital. Since this was the case we got a lot of a**hole politicians, judges, and professional hockey players. You had to be a bigger a**hole than they were to keep everyone safe.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I stick up for myself here is when the kindergarteners are taking up the entire sidewalk at the Vita Parcours in Allschwil. There will be 20 children walking across the sidewalk and that is absolutely unacceptable.
Just wanted to say that I loved your video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f5h8U_pnpI
DeleteThanks Brian http://www.e67agency.com
Life is a learning experience. Perhaps it will be interesting to revisit this thread in a year or two and see if you have changed any or incorporated new life strategies to successfully navigate situations in a manner more conducive to your new wonderful environment! I admire your courage, willingness to learn new life skills and to take on this great opportunity. I would love to live in Switzerland! Diplomacy and elegance are wonderful arts to master!
ReplyDeleteI think you are going a bit overboard , not everything we feel or think needs to be said.Being polite is free and rudeness is just abhorrent. I am Nigerian and we are more direct and blunt than Americans but there is a time and a place , with your friends ,and loved ones or when it is really important. However asking someone to move off a sidewalk when it is culturally acceptable is rude , you are expecting the culture to reshape itself to you when you are the visitor. I have lived in places which are extremely conservative which i absolutely hated , but i did not go around ,saying or showing how much i disliked it . I pretended until i could get the hell out, Americans( i am generalizing here) don't seem to realize that you are not the default setting , so yes in this case it is you.
ReplyDeletePlease take this in the spirit it was given it is not an attack , just an opinion
I’m an American, but I think you make a good point. No, we are not the default setting. No one’s cultural ways are. I guess this is where the phrase “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” comes from. I also agree that Nigerians are blunt, too. But I’m okay with that 😉.
DeleteWell while you're learning the language you can definitely let your hands speak for you if need be. And I don't mean sign language! I know that spitting thing was a hard one to deal with!
ReplyDeleteLil mama you continue being the young beautiful smart woman your family raised you to be, and let them insecure wannabe pink racist mofors haters be, only because they wish they could have of what you have, keep your head and sway your hips, oh and keep a smile on your face that will just kill them! I would like to know how long are you going to be over there?
Deleteany updates swiss miss? :)
ReplyDelete